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How Do I Mediate Spousal Support in Oregon?
Mediating spousal support is often a challenge for divorcing families. Divorce raises a lot of fear for both participants. The higher-earning spouse fears not having enough money to pay support and their monthly living expenses, and the lower-earning spouse fears not receiving enough support to transition to a new higher-earning job or maintain their standard…
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Collaborative Divorce Can Help Insulate Children from the Emotional Harm of Divorce
Divorce can be emotionally harmful to a child. Divorce inalterably changes the family dynamic. To help limit the negative impacts that divorce can have on children, parents should consider and rely on the Collaborative Divorce process It is vital to understand how childhood experiences can impact a child in the future. For context, consider The…
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During the First Post-Divorce Holiday Season, Show Kindness Toward the Other Parent and Child for the Child’s Best Interest
Over the past few months, someone has been painting small rocks with kind words and leaving them around our neighborhood. The stones in question are the kind that could easily be picked up and thrown. They are small, perfectly sized for a hand. I’ve wondered who is leaving them about but realized that the message…
Families Should Consider Collaborative Divorce to Avoid Court Backlogs During and After the Pandemic
This pandemic has been devastating for many families. You may know people who have been sick, or you may know families who have lost loved ones. The emotional strain today is tremendous. Families who are already contemplating divorce are under even more stress and, likely, significant household tension. Unfortunately, the pandemic has also impacted the…
Thanksgiving Optimism: Despite Lockdowns, I’m in Great Contact With Family Members and Am Excited to See Them All Soon
Collaborative Divorce professionals and mediators are optimists. They want and believe that their clients will have positive outcomes. Even during this challenging year, my optimism remains. I choose to believe that the future will be better for my family. I hope that is true. And I hope it is true for you and your family.…
The Collaborative Divorce Team Can Help the Divorcing Couple Learn to See and Hear Each Other’s Interests
The Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode, Hush debuted just about 21 years ago. Slate magazine reminded me about the episode and upcoming anniversary yesterday. I’m a huge fan of the episode because it still gives me the hee-bee jee-bees. If you’ve not seen it, it’s worth the 48 minutes or so. In Hush, the bad guys, called The Gentlemen, come to Buffy’s…
Thanks to the Great Teachers Who Support Our Children!
I am writing to give a great big THANK YOU! to all teachers. As we move into the Winter break, I’m so grateful to all of these incredible professionals. I think it’s redundant at this point to talk about the craziness of 2020. But, my daughter’s teachers, I’m so very impressed with the professionalism, flexibility,…
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Use Mediation and Collaborative Divorce to Plan for Unforeseen Disruptions to Your Parenting Plan
No doubt that COVID has been hard on all of us – especially for children of divorce. COVID parent’s ability to spend time with both of their parents and overturned carefully cultivated parenting plans. I cannot tell you how many stories I’ve read about from attorneys who are seeking advice from colleagues about how to…
Your Chosen Divorce Process May Have a Big Impact On How Spousal Support (Alimony) is Determined in Your Situation
Spousal support (otherwise known as alimony) is one of the most challenging issues to discuss during your divorce, especially when the spouses are likely in different financial positions – with one making more money and the other providing support to the household in other ways. The lower-earning spouse may be afraid for the future. The…
What to Do With the House? Work Closely With Your Collaborative Team to Find an Option Right for You
For many families, the primary residence is usually one of the most significant assets, and for many divorcing couples, their primary source of property to be split in a just and proper manner is the residence. Unfortunately, this can be a difficult and emotional experience. It is essential to work together with your Collaborative Team,…
What Does a Divorce Cost?
What is this divorce going to cost me? That is one of the first questions that people considering divorce ask themselves. The potential cost can seem daunting and scary. According to a quick google search, the average cost of a divorce in Oregon is somewhere between $10,000 to $15,000. Of course, each case is different.…
6 Benefits of a Good Parenting Plan
A judge in a divorce case involving child expects at least some identified parenting plan before entering a judgment of divorce created during a Mediation or Collaborative Divorce. For the benefit of the whole family, including the child and the parents, the more specific the parents can make the parenting plan, the better it will…
Co-Parenting After a Divorce: 4 Ways Parents Can Have Effective Communication About Their Child’s Needs
I recently listened to The Hidden Brain podcast, episode “Empathy Gym,” from July 2019. The guest was Psychologist Jamil Zaki, who talked about his parent’s divorce that took four years when he was between ages 8-12. He spoke about trying to live in each of his parent’s homes. “Bouncing between houses is like bouncing between parallel universes.”…
How Does Divorce Impact Children?
Divorce is hard on families, but hardest on children. This is why it’s important for parents to work on supporting the needs of children during a divorce. Each child is different, so it is up to the parents to be empathetic to the child as they transition from living in a household where the family…
How are Child Support and Spousal Support Determined?
One of the first questions people ask when getting divorced is, “how are child support and spousal support determined?” People want to know what they can rely on to ensure that they are paying their bills monthly. In this blog, I guide you through how child support and spousal support are determined based on how…
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Three Ways to Use Mediation to Prepare for Family Conflict
Many thanks to my good friends at the Mosten Guthrie Academy, who first posted this article on October 13, 2021.Mosten Guthrie Mediation is a powerful tool that can help divorcing or separating families in conflict address issues and find agreements in unexpected and beneficial ways. Usually, a breakdown in relationships occurs when people fail to communicate with…
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3 Misconceptions About Children and Family Law in Oregon
Misconception #1: You can stop parenting time visits if child support is not paid. There is not a connection between parenting time and a failure to pay child support. Parenting time is the time that a parent spends with the children. This could range from several nights a week to several hours a week and depends…
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Three Ways to Help Address Divorce-Related Stress During the Holidays
The holidays season can be difficult for anyone who recently divorced or is going through a divorce. If you stack divorce on top of the already stressful holiday season, it can become even more difficult for the entire family. There is also the emotional impact of not having your children with you during certain holidays…
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Adult Children and Divorce
I was sitting in a coffee shop when I overheard a young adult discussing her recent trip back home. She said she had a great time but was frustrated by will the need to balance the time between her divorced mom and dad. Even though they had been divorced for years, it was clear that…
Dating During Divorce
During a recent mediation, a husband came in emotionally conflicted. I could see that he was angry, but unsure about why. He called for the divorce. But then he saw his soon to be ex-wife on a date with another man. The husband kept telling me and his ex-wife during the mediation that he was…